I am simply not there

I am painting a color wheel for my 2-d design class and am finding myself wanting to say “Bad acrylic, quit trying to act like fucking plastic.”

Fuck, I.hate.acrylic.

My choice is made

I have had a difficult choice to make in last few months which will decide my final path in my lifetime.  Stuck between the world of science, which I hold in a constant loving grasp, and art, whom I vacation with on a daily basis, I have made my decision.  I started fall semester last month and one of my classes, that I purposefully chose to help me make this decision, was Drawing 1.  The first project was an 18” x 24”, slow/modulated contour line drawing of a skeleton.  My first attempt at it was going great.  The anatomy was accurate, the proportions were there, and astoundingly enough my composition was chosen with precision.  This was until I came in on Friday night to find that the still life had been moved slightly and almost correctly put back in place.  It would have been fine, but because I was doing a zoomed in drawing of the rib cage from a somewhat 3/4 bottom up view the slight shift in the still life caused all the ribs on my page to now be inaccurate; therefore causing me and my perfectionist attitude to scrap it and start over.  Was I angry, yes.  Did I quit, no.  I essentially said screw it, since no one’s in the room I’m going to do a super close up view of the skull in 3/4 perspective, showing all of the glorious detail.  So I spent the next 16 hours over the next few days catching up and finishing my piece for the group critique on Monday.  Now this is all the back story and may not seem important, but remember that I was already on the fence about art or science. 

Monday comes along and the group critique commences.  My turn to be critiqued.  These are some of the student responses:

“This is a 10!”
“I want this on my wall!”
“It looks a little flat around the eyes.”
“Why do my eyes want to fly off the page, is it because the lines are leading it off?”

There were various other comments that I can’t remember but these are the ones that stuck.  The comments about it being flat and the eye being lead wrong were absolutely correct.  I corrected these in the next hour and got the following critique from the professor.

“This makes me want to go draw something!”
“Absolutely beautiful!”
“I know you want to go into medical illustration, but I’m going to turn you into a fine artist.”

The icing on the cake that concreted my decision was the professors audible sigh that one does when looking at something tehy truly enjoys  I had made something that a professional artist and non-professional artists absolutely loved, and it was only my first project.  So to say that I was blown away is an understatement.  If I get my drawing back I’ll post it here.  My final decision is art, and hopefully in the future I can have the pleasure of showing the public the way I see the world.

Edit:  My professor is Crystal Wagner.  Check her out at crystalwagner.com

A choice, a choice, I am incapable of a choice

I am capable in both science and in art, but incapable of choosing which one I should continue with on a college level.  I also have a lot of love for both, although one specifically seems to be a love hate relationship.  It has always been evident that art in my university college is not the art that I want or will ever do, causing this malignance of contempt for art to grow and spread throughtout my body.  I need to make a choice.  I can either suck it up and continue with art and continue my hobby of scientific research or change my major once again to biology and continue my other hobby of art outside of college.

I’m covered in honey, between two Kodiak bears.

Quote revised to make it correct

Original quote:

“Atheism is abnormality. It is not merely the denial of a dogma. It is the reversal of a subconscious assumption in the soul; the sense that there is a meaning and a direction in the world it sees.” - G. K. Chesterton, The Everlasting Man

The quote corrected:

“Atheism is clarity. It is not meerly the resolve of your insignificance. It is the reversal of age old belief; the understanding that the only meaning and direction come from your will power and nothing other.” - J. Raney, The Finite Man

I will break your fucking head.

So I wake up this morning to find both my wife’s car and my car’s tire slashed, as well as some neighbors car tires.  I know who the little fuck is.  He came to my house last week trying to run some bullshit ‘by my magazine and help me get points for graduation’ bullshit.  I told him no and believe it or not he tried to argue with me about it, here’s some of the conversation

Me: ‘there are a thousand of you guys coming through here all the time, leave my house’

Asshole kid: ‘you don’t want to help me out’

Me: ‘get the fuck off of my front porch and have a good day’

Asshole kid: ‘God bless you’ said with sarcasm and now that I think about it the glint of revenge in his eyes.

I know what this kid looks like because of the monster sized scar on the left side of his neck, he will stand out.  You may ask how I know it’s him, well, the kid also went to another house which happens to be a good friend of mine.  Asshole kid talked to my friends mom and had the same attitute, but something very distinct stuck out.  The kid was carrying a beat up pseudo-order magazine pamphlet that had many hand drawn black stars on the front, apparently he’s a Van Gogh.  My friends mom reported the same stars on the front, as well as did the neighbors; who all turned him down right away.  If you need more information about the character of said asshole then I point you to the multiple different stories he gave to each neighbor about his plight.  I know this kid did it, and I know that if I see him anywhere I will commence with interogation.  This kind of behavior of this asshole kid is why people murder and hurt eachother, it will never go away because we’re human.  What I do know is that I will find immense satisfaction in hitting him a few times with a very large fist clutching a roll of quarters.  You folks have a nice day.